It’s a Pandemic! UCAP Helps Families Inoculate Kids

by Kristen A. Jenson, MA

Empowering Families at UCAP

KAJ 2015 UCAP title classWhere’s the world’s largest conference to educate the public about the harms of pornography?

Los Angeles? Nope!

Las Vegas? Nope!

Salt Lake City? You guessed it!

And in fact, It’s been getting so big, the organizers of the Utah Coalition Against Pornography had to move to a huge new venue—the Salt Palace Convention Center.

Keynote with Ed Smart and daughter Elizabeth Smart

To kick it all off, Elizabeth Smart and her dad, Ed Smart, were the keynote speakers. Ed talked about his work with the Operation Underground Railroad and their efforts to rescue sex-trafficked children. He shared a sobering, time-lapse map which showed the buying and selling of child pornography in one 24-hour period. Kids who are abducted and trafficked are often used to make child pornography.

Ed also told about the night when Elizabeth was finally home. He and his wife, Lois, had planned that all the kids would sleep with them in their bedroom—to feel safe. But Elizabeth was determined to take back her life and she told her parents that she wanted to sleep in her own room that night. What courage!

When Elizabeth Smart spoke, she recounted some of her experiences of her abduction. But she also showed her humility by saying that even her situation was not as bad as other kids’ who are videotaped being raped. Elizabeth empathized with the thousands of kids who must deal with this horrible reality for the rest of their lives, even if they are miraculously rescued.

I know this sounds like a downer, but I loved hearing all about the projects the Smart family are supporting that will help kids all over the world. The Elizabeth Smart Foundation, which just merged with Operation Underground Railroad, helps sexually abused kids to heal and reintegrate into “normal” life after their rescue.

A 5-Step Plan

5 step plan UCAP ad

This year’s conference was so exciting and empowering. So much information, encouragement and hope! I felt privileged and honored to be invited to speak and present “A 5-Step Plan to Inoculate Kids Against the Pandemic of Porn.” (I’ll post the link when it’s available online.)

2015 UCAP KAJ crowded classI’m not sure every speaker feels this way, but I was afraid that only a few attendees would trickle in! Ha! In reality, a large room (with chairs for 340 people) had standing room only, with many being turned away at the door (fire code). Does this say anything about my speaking ability? Absolutely not! It says that parents are desperate for strategies and resources to help prepare their kids to reject pornography.

And from the feedback I received, parents went away feeling empowered with solutions. (I always try to provide more solutions than questions!)

Sold Out!

We sold out of over 350 books at the conference! KAJ UCAP booth 2015

Parent Testimonials: New Videos

As I was preparing my presentation in the months ahead of UCAP, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if parents who are in the trenches with young kids could share their experiences using this advice I’m going to teach?” That thought led to a series of five short, insightful videos that I included in my presentation of parents doing just that!

And here’s one of them to encourage parents to get the conversation about pornography started.


If the video does not play go here.

Great Resources! Awesome Speakers and Reps

I also enjoyed meeting many of the other presenters and representatives from organizations committed to helping families prevent pornography addiction or find solutions for recovery.

I’m looking forward to speaking at the UCAP in St. Georgefor Southern Utah and Nevada on September 19, 2015.

I truly love my job of providing resources for parents and speaking at events about how to inoculate kids against porn. We must do it and we CAN DO it!

Prioritizing that First Porn Talk (or How to Eat a Big Frog)

A big thank you to Nicole Carpenter, amazing blogger at MOMentity.com and best-selling author, for contributing this awesome blog post on creating time to talk to kids about pornography! Don’t miss her great tips and insights!
Redhead girl with alarm clock on blue background.by Nicole Carpenter

We make time for the things in life that are important to us.

We all have an equal 24 hours each day. And we get to control how we spend that time. C.S. Lewis states it best,

“The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”

But even if we spent every waking hour being completely productive, we are not super parents and we can’t do everything. So what gets left undone?

For me, it’s the hard things or inconvenient things that go undone. What are the things on your to-do list that don’t get crossed off for several days? You know what they are.

  • It’s the inconvenient trip to the post office or grocery shopping with all your kids in tow.
  • It’s calling the credit card company to dispute that extra charge or telling your sister you just can’t babysit her kids anymore.

Before long, these undone tasks begin to haunt your free thoughts.

At MOMentity we talk a lot about effective ways to handle a to-do list. But this isn’t about to-do lists or not enough hours in the day. The real issue is putting off the things that are difficult or uncomfortable.

How to Eat a Big Frog

Mark Twain is attributed to saying,

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

Talking with our kids about pornography is one of those big, slimy frogs that we just need to eat, and we need to do it now.

"Eat me! I dare you!"

“Eat me! I dare you!”

Sometimes I believe I’d rather eat a real frog than have “that” conversation with our kids! How about you? But the facts tell us it’s important to talk with our kids often and early.

I have four kids, three of them are boys, and I’m actually really scared about the threat pornography is on their future. I’d do anything to keep them safe. And I know how important open lines of communication are with my kids—especially with the hard topics.

Make It Happen

Because you’re reading this, I know talking to your kids about pornography is important to you. The best way to find time to talk to your kids is to actually plan it into your schedule. This seems easy enough, but at the end of the day the frog gets away from us. So, decide how and when you’ll talk with your kids and actually schedule it into your calendar. Then hold yourself accountable.

family on couchHere are some ideas for planned activities you could do to spark a conversation about pornography with your kids:

  • Bring it up during a family night meeting
  • Read Good Pictures Bad Pictures with your children after school one day
  • Take your family on a picnic and plan to talk about it there
  • Discuss it during a Sunday drive when you have an attentive audience

Embrace an Opportunity

Last night my 10-year-old asked me if she could have her own Instagram account. She has an android tablet and several of her friends have their own accounts. We just happened to be sitting down to dinner with the entire family around the table.

I realized opportunities like this are the most natural way to teach our kids. I explained that her dad and I would have to think about it. We started a family discussion that started with images on the Internet are there forever and ended with Internet safety, good images versus bad images and what the kids should think or do when they see bad images.

We still haven’t decided on that Instagram account.

The problem with this wait-until-it-feels-right approach: we leave the important conversation up to chance. My advice would be to purposefully schedule time to have this discussion with your kids right away. And then, when spontaneous conversations like this arise, you can refer back to that initial discussion.

Actions Items You Can Do! (Really!)

Here are you action items to create time to talk to your kids about pornography.

  1. Decide how you want to teach your kids basics about pornography.
  2. Decide when you want to have this conversation.
  3. Actually write it into your calendar or add it to your to-do list.
  4. Hold yourself accountable.
  5. Embrace future spontaneous moments to talk about pornography and add to your basic conversation.

Nicole Carpenter headshotNicole Carpenter helps overwhelmed moms find their identity and manage their time so they can chase their dreams while they still nurture their family. Nicole is a mentor, speaker and founder of MOMentity.com, a blog and online community for mothers, reaching out to moms in over 7 different countries. She is the creator of the Define Your Time™ time-management course that helps women manage their time, balance their life and get more done. Nicole is also a columnist and best-selling author of the book “52 Weeks to Fortify Your Family:5-minute messages.” But her most important role is that of ‘mommy’ to her four kiddos and ‘wife’ to her college sweetheart.

Teen Shares 7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography

by Claudine Gallacher, MA

Boy Showing Thumbs Up with Friends on BackgroundA teenage boy reveals how early pornography exposure (at the age of nine) pulled him towards porn and shares the seven steps he used to cast porn out of his life.

When I met 16-year old Brian (not his real name), I knew I wanted to interview him. His peers would call him a people person, friendly, and helpful.  After talking with him for several hours, I agree.

Porn Talk is Common in Middle School

Brian was exceptionally open with me about his personal experiences with pornography. He was exposed to pornography (in the form of scantily dressed sexualized females) at age 9. When he was 11, friends told him about Playboy, a term he quickly typed into an iPod.

Regretful young manAt some point he realized that pornography was a “bad thing” and that it led boys to see girls as objects. Brian didn’t like how watching porn was affecting him. Still, porn had a powerful pull and he kept coming back to it for years.

“Pornography is constantly talked about in middle school,” Brian told me. “Probably every day you could walk around the lunch tables and hear boys discussing videos they had seen or telling stories about porn stars.” He emphasized that porn was new and exciting for tweens.

By high school, watching porn was so commonplace that it wasn’t talked about as much. But occasionally, Brian would hear about the experiences of friends. Brian knew a freshman boy that said he had to masturbate to porn at least twice a day or he would get the “jitters.” The boy knew he had a problem, but was afraid to tell his parents. Another friend told Brian that he had to masturbate to porn after getting home from a date where he “almost kissed a girl, but didn’t.” The sexual tension he felt seemed unbearable.

 Why Kids Use Porn

boy in bed with mobile“Most boys see masturbating as a great stress reliever. That’s the main reason why they do it,” Brian explained. And with porn, it’s easy. Some young men cannot imagine what boys of previous generations did without easy access to porn.

By the time Brian was almost 15, he decided to get off porn for good. Fortunately, Brian has a good relationship with his parents and they helped him with his goal. Within six months, Brian was able to stop using pornography.

What did Brian do? 7 Strategies

  1. He sacrificed having Internet on his phone by deleting his app for the internet. His parents also utilized restrictions (protected by passwords) and disabled the Internet on the phone.
  2. He sacrificed watching some TV shows or movies with sexualized girls. He learned to be conscious of how the things he saw made him feel. He practiced walking out of the room and distracting himself when images initiated arousal. His parents supported him in this.
  3. He sacrificed his personal email account. He had given this email to a pornographic site advertisement and was bombarded with inappropriate spam. He terminated this email account and now only uses the email account provided by his high school.
  4. He sacrificed privacy and left his bedroom door open at night.
  5. He learned to distract himself any time the desire to watch porn came to him. He’d ride his bike, go to a friend’s house, or find other ways to get active and around people.
  6. Father and son talking in living roomHe had lengthy conversations with parents, who encouraged him, accepted him, and kept him accountable. They often asked him how he was doing with his goal to avoid porn.
  7. He started small. His first goal was to go one day without porn. When he made it, he tried for two. Eventually, he tried for a week, then two. If he slipped, he got back on track. Brian says, “Tell everyone the first month is by far the hardest. After a month it gets WAY easier. I had times I would wonder, ‘Why am I doing this?’ But I would fight it and remind myself I was doing it because I wanted to and I believed it would get better. It has.”

The secrets to Brian’s success?

Brian was able to make changes in his life because:

  • He was humble and honest;
  • He relied on others to keep him accountable;
  • He was willing to make changes to his environment that limited triggers;
  • He had a plan to distract himself when temptations came (like the CAN DO Plan!).

Brian told me that most teenage girls believe, like Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence (“…either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you”), that they have to compete with porn to maintain a boy’s attention. Though a lot of boys (and girls!) are getting hooked on porn, guys like Brian prove it doesn’t have to be that way.

GPBP_Cover_3We at PornProof Kids are hopeful that the tools we provide, like the read-aloud book Good Pictures Bad Pictures, will enable more parents to warn their young children about the dangers of pornography. Kids empowered from a young age will know how to protect their brains from the pull of porn. And they’ll have the best chance of creating happy and healthy relationships when they grow up.

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Click on the poster below to subscribe to our blog and we’ll send you a FREE downloadable poster of the 5-point CAN DO Plan™ featured in our book Good Pictures Bad Pictures. It’s a great reminder of the empowering information your kids learned when you read them Good Pictures Bad Pictures!

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Ultimate Parent Hack: Teach Kids to Use Their “Thinking Brain”

by Kristen A. Jenson, MA

Parent Hack Thinking BrainFrom the time we potty train a toddler to the day she leaves the nest, a big part of growing up is learning to gain control and independence. We teach our kids to master their emotions so the melt-downs at the grocery store eventually end! As they mature, they hopefully learn to think before they act as they become less impulsive and more deliberate. All of this involves exercising what I call the “thinking brain.”

Thinking Brain versus Feeling Brain

GPBP_07SmlI first coined the term “thinking brain” while writing Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids. It was a simple way to help children understand how addictions develop—it’s when the impulsive, instinctive and automatic “feeling brain” takes over and hijacks the part of the brain that learns right from wrong, makes plans and puts the brakes on our appetites and desires. To avoid addiction, the thinking brain needs to be the boss! So crucial. (Learn more about your two brains here.)

I wanted to help kids understand that by exercising their thinking brain, they could keep themselves safe from the pull of pornography. And by what I hear back from parents, it’s working!

But It Gets Better!

The good news is that parents have reported that these concepts can be helpful in a variety of parenting situations.

  • If a child wants to eat right before dinner, a parent can ask, “Can you use your thinking brain to help you wait another 30 minutes for dinner?”
  • One mom said she was able to recognize that when her child becomes angry and acts out, this was not a teachable moment. His feeling brain was in charge. Once he was calm, she could ask, “How can you better use your thinking brain to manage your anger next time you get upset?”
  • Another mom told us that this model has helped a lot with her sons who are on the autism spectrum. When they are impulsive, she’ll stop and ask, “Are you using your thinking brain or your feeling brain?” This allows them to stop, recognize what is happening, and change their behavior.
  • Parents can also model exercising the thinking brain. For example, one of our readers reported that the thinking brain concept helps her to control her holiday candy habit. She says to herself, “Feeling brain, I know you want to eat that Easter candy, but I’m going to use my thinking brain to make a healthier choice!” That’s what I do, too! In fact, I’ve begun my own “thinking brain eating plan” and it’s working! (I’m thinking of posting Before/After pics in a future blog post. We’ll see!)
Copyrighted illustration from Good Pictures Bad Pictures

Copyrighted illustration from Good Pictures Bad Pictures

This doesn’t mean we are trying to squelch all emotions or feelings! From my experience, kids actually feel better when they gain control and understand how to appropriately interact with others. From what we’ve heard, kids love the idea of making their thinking brain strong…just like a muscle!

Have you used the “two brains principle” in your parenting? Does it help your kids to gain more control over their impulses?

 

Has this post been helpful? Please share it with other parents!

Subscribe to PornProof Kids and get this FREE Downloadable Poster

Click on image to subscribe to blog.

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The Amazon best-selling book Good Pictures Bad Pictures includes an easy to remember CAN DO Plan™ for kids to use when they see pornography. Subscribe to our PornProof Kids blog and get this free printable poster to reinforce the skills your kids needClick here to subscribe.

 Good Pictures Bad Pictures now available on Kindle.

If you’ve purchased a print copy from Amazon, you can get a Kindle version for only $0.99!

Click on cover for Kindle version!

Click on cover for new Kindle version!

How a Children’s Book about Pornography Became an Amazon #1 Best Seller

Happy birthday 5

by Kristen A. Jenson

Good Pictures Bad Pictures is one year old! And still an Amazon #1 Best Seller! To celebrate we’d like to offer you a gift—see the 50% off coupon code below!

New look

Good Pictures Bad Pictures has a brand new look. Yay! Same empowering story told with a beautiful new cover and interior design. We think you’ll love it.

A Year of Milestones

What a year! We started out 2014 with a manuscript that had been rejected by mainstream publishers and a burning desire (did I just write that?) to help parents become more comfortable talking to their kids about pornography. After three long years of writing, testing, re-writing, editing and illustrating, we were finally ready to launch, and so we turned to self-publishing and made the March 22nd Utah Coalition Against Pornography (UCAP) conference our deadline!

The three months leading up to UCAP were a blur of late hours, working every weekend, anxiety and a few tears. (OK, more than a few tears!)

I finally got the proof in the mail and immediately ordered 200 books, paying extra to have it expedited. In a nail-biting finale, the second half of our book order arrived at 6:00 pm the night before the conference!

As soon as Good Pictures Bad Pictures was for sale on Amazon.com, we asked our friends and friends of friends to order it and post reviews. The response was overwhelming! And it just keeps on going!

So here’s our year in review…one of the most amazing years of my life.

GPBP birthday cupcakeAmazon #1 Best Seller. Shortly after we launched our book on Amazon, Good Pictures Bad Pictures became and remained a #1 Best Seller! How? Word of mouth, (including social media word of mouth), bloggers, and amazing 5-star customer reviews. If you haven’t already, please consider posting a review! Best birthday gift you could give us!

601 Ranking on amazon

Launched at UCAP Conference. We sold out of books at our first anti-pornography conference. 200 books in four hours!UCAP 2014 GPBP 02Small

National Summit. We introduced our book at the national Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation summit in D.C. and received rave reviews—so many people excited to see this resource for families! Kristen at End Exploitation Summit 2014

Media Attention. Among many other media reviews and interviews, we were highlighted in a national newspaper and popular mommy blog and interviewed by a radio station in London and a TV news show. (See our In the Media page for a list and links.)

Recommended by Therapists. Professional mental health counselors who specialize in pornography addiction recovery use our book cassie kinganto help their clients and their clients’ children. Here’s one therapist’s blog review of Good Pictures Bad Pictures. She read our book to her 6-year old son and highly recommends it to her clients of all ages.

Twitter Party. We were invited to attend our first Twitter party on #OnlineSafety! Check out the highlights here! (And please follow us on Twitter if you don’t already.)

Endorsed by Experts

Our most important endorsements come from parents and grandparents. But it’s cool when experts and leaders in the anti-pornography movement express their support. Look what they’re saying!

Clay-Olsen-sq-201“As far as I’m concerned, reading and implementing Good Pictures Bad Pictures with your kids isn’t an option: it’s a necessity.” Clay Olsen, Founder and CEO of Fight the New Drug

MIM_pic_dawn3“I hear from hundreds of concerned moms and dads who want to help protect their children from sexual exploitation. Finally we have a strong resource to refer them to! Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a great tool for anyone who works closely with children!” Dawn Hawkins, Executive Director of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation

Don-Hilton-2014_rgb“Jenson and Poyner have given us a valuable and timely tool to teach the neuroscience of avoiding pornography addiction in a way kids can easily understand. Critical doors of communication will open as fathers and mothers read Good Pictures Bad Pictures with their children.” Donald L. Hilton Jr., MD, practicing neurosurgeon and clinical associate professor in the Department of Neurosurgery at the University of Texas, San Antonio

matt-fradd“Whether we like it or not, we need to talk to our kids in an age-appropriate way about the dangers of pornography. Good Pictures Bad Pictures is quite simply the best book available to help facilitate this conversation. Get it. Read it. Tell everyone you know about it.” Matt Fradd, Author, Speaker, Anti-porn Activist

Angela Page W4D

“The Can DO Plan teaches essential skills anyone can use to reject pornography!” Angela Page, President Women for Decency

vauna davis ucap“Good Pictures Bad Pictures is the practical, positive, and powerful tool families need. I whole-heartedly recommend reading this with your children regularly so they will develop self-control—the ultimate protection from pornography.” Vauna Davis, Executive Director of Utah Coalition Against Pornography

“I was thrilled to find Good Pictures Bad Pictures. As a parent, it makes opening that sensitive conversation as easy and loving as reading a book together. I love everything about it! It’s honest and open and calm and reassuring. What a beautiful way to empower and protect your child!” Deanna Lambson, mother of 6, teacher and founder of WhiteRibbonWeek.org

Our Awesome Graphic Designer

Evan MacDonaldGraphic designer Evan MacDonald attended a PornProof Kids 101 presentation given by our illustrator Debbie Fox and was so impressed with our mission, he wanted to help us take Good Pictures Bad Pictures to the next level.

With a lot of hard work and late hours (yes, Evan, I did notice the files that came through at 1:40 am), he did just that! Thanks, Evan!

50% Off Discount Code

If you’d like to purchase our newly revised Good Pictures Bad Pictures, use this Discount Code 5R7EGSB4 at our E-Store for 50% off. This offer is good through April 2, 2015 so click here and get a great deal on a game-changing book for kids!

You can also find it at Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Deseretbook.com and increasingly in fine bookstores everywhere.

THANK YOU for being part of PornProof Kids and celebrating with us!

3 Secrets to Raising Kids Who Persevere!

by Claudine Gallacher, MA

superhero boy child flying mid air above cloud levelIs there an easy way to increase your child’s perseverance, potential for success, or even intelligence level? According to decades of research by Stanford psychologist Dr. Carol S. Dweck, the answer is yes! How? By helping your kids adopt the right type of mindset.

Why is this important? For one, it helps kids learn that with practice, something that is hard or seemingly impossible to do today can become a skill tomorrow.

Copyrighted illustration from Good Pictures Bad Pictures

Copyrighted illustration from Good Pictures Bad Pictures

This is exactly what we teach in Good Pictures Bad Pictures—that though pornography may at first feel like the pull of a giant magnet, with practice and determination, its power can be overcome. A child who has failed at closing his eyes to porn can still become successful at looking away. A child who is pestered by pornographic memories can use a growth mindset (and the CAN DO Plan™!) to work at controlling her thoughts.

Fixed Mindset

Sombre futureMany of us grow up with what Dweck would call a “fixed mindset,” the idea that a person’s intelligence is an unchangeable part of who they are. People with a fixed mindset might see themselves as good at math, but not creative. Or, they may think of themselves as a writer, but not mechanical. People with this type of mindset see their strengths and weaknesses as a fixed part of their character.

In addition, those with a fixed mindset tend to focus on tasks they are good at, consistently proving their view of themselves to others. People with this mindset become easily discouraged when their performance does not line up with their self-beliefs. Or in other words, when they “fail.”

Growth Mindset

Ayla and her grammy make brownies.  The best part is eating th batter.In contrast, people with a “growth mindset” believe that through perseverance they can improve their abilities in any area. (This is also a key tenant of porn-proofing! Kids can improve at keeping their thinking brain in charge!) Rather than seeing themselves as inept at drawing, they might see art as hobby that they have not chosen to spend much time learning.

Growth mindset people have confidence that if they practice a new skill, in time, they will become better at it. (This doesn’t mean they think they will become the next Rembrandt; they just acknowledge that they have no idea what type of artist they may become if they try.)

Less likely to perceive mistakes as failure, those with a “growth mindset” are

  • more resilient,
  • work harder, and
  • find more joy in learning.

Ultimately, those with this type of mindset are able to achieve more than those who maintain a fixed mindset.

3 Secrets to a Growth Mindset

So what can parents do to help their kids take on a growth mindset?

Father Helping Son With Homework In Kitchen1. Praise effort rather than intelligence or results. When we praise children for “strategies, focus, effort, persistence, and improvement,” we help them recognize their own growth. On the other hand, when we tell kids they’re smart, we create an environment where they’re afraid of stretching because any type of “failure” would contradict their self-beliefs. To encourage a growth mindset, try statements like this:

  • “I was impressed with your determination during the basketball game today. Even though your team was behind, you never lost focus.”
  • “I admire your willingness to redo that math problem when you didn’t get the right answer the first time. It’s hard to start over, but I’m sure your perseverance will pay off.”
  • “The second draft of your essay includes so much more evidence than your first draft. I can tell you understand that writing is a process which takes time and practice.”

2. Model the growth mindset by sharing stories of your own growth experiences. Here’s one I’ve shared with my kids:

When I didn’t pass the driving test for my driver’s license because I backed into a telephone pole during parallel parking, I was painfully disappointed. I also felt guilty (I damaged my parent’s car) and embarrassed (I was worried about what my friends would think).

There was a part of me that wanted to give up trying to learn to drive altogether. I didn’t know if I could find the confidence to ever take the test again. I had to learn to shut off the voices in my head that said I should give up.

Then I realized I had learned some important lessons from my first attempt at the test and when I tried again, I succeeded. Years ago, I met someone who failed the test at least five times before passing. That person is my hero for not giving up!

Besides sharing your own stories, you can also teach your children about famous people who endured major setbacks before finding their niche at success.

thinking boy cropped3. Teach your children to reflect on their experiences in ways that encourage growth. How? Help your kids to ask questions like these:

  • What can I learn from this?
  • How can I do this better the next time?
  • How can I improve?

Redefining Failure

With these strategies, we essentially redefine the concept of failure for our kids.  We help them see that all people, including themselves, are a work in progress.

Each of us has the potential to learn, to improve, and to become someone different tomorrow than we are today.

When it comes to pornography, most of our kids will at some point wrestle with the decision to view it. To help them become porn-immune, It’s important that they learn that past mistakes or slips do not define their future.

When parents encourage a growth mindset, kids know they can become increasingly in control of their thoughts and behavior—not just in relation to porn, but in all areas of their lives.

Was this post helpful? Share it with your friends!

Subscribe to PornProof Kids and get this FREE Downloadable Poster

Click on image to subscribe to blog.

Click on image to subscribe to blog.

The Amazon best-selling book Good Pictures Bad Pictures includes an easy to remember CAN DO Plan™ for kids to use when they see pornography. Subscribe to our PornProof Kids blog and get this free printable poster to reinforce the skills your kids needClick here to subscribe.

 Good Pictures Bad Pictures now available on Kindle.

If you’ve purchased a print copy from Amazon, you can get a Kindle version for only $0.99!

GPBP_Cover_3

Click on cover to purchase

 

Playing Offense Against Porn (to Protect Kids Online)

by Kristen A. Jenson

kids soccerWhich is better, offense or defense?

When you’re playing offense, you’re trying to move the ball down the field to score points. A team that is revved up and on the offense is more likely to win as long as they can also defend their goal line.

We need to help our kids win against porn!

Both offense and defense are needed to win, but in the game against porn, let’s play an offensive game in order to protect kids online.

Playing an Offensive Game against Porn

What does playing offense look like? It’s all about being proactive and deliberate. It means:

  • Not waiting until your child (hopefully) comes to you to report exposure to porn (which most kids won’t do unless you’ve asked them to);
  • Getting out in front of the problem and setting your child’s attitude and expectations before the porn industry does it for you;
  • Knowing the enemy and how predatory the porn industry is when it comes to hooking more kids;
  • Not (totally) relying on the defensive strategy of filters to keep kids safe;
  • Giving your kids a game plan for winning against pornography!

Don’t Leave it to the Porn “Professionals”

Educate Empower Kids recently released a new video. It portrays a mom who is uncomfortable answering an innocent question from her young son: “What is sex?” Instead, she turns off the TV news and sends him up to his room with his tablet.

Bad move.

Now who is he going to ask about sex? You guessed it! The Internet search engine.

After he types in the question, a team of four adults representing the porn industry appear and assure the mom that they’ll “take it from here.” Which is exactly what is happening to kids day in and day out.

If you don’t tell your kids about sex and it’s counterfeit, pornography, they’ll definitely learn it from the Internet porn  “professionals.”

Risks versus Benefits

dad son stairsAre there potential risks for bringing up the subject too soon?

I hear this question all the time and it’s a valid one. But maybe parents should consider early talks about pornography like an inoculation

Introducing your child to pornography in a safe and controlled way so that they can be prepared to defend themselves against it when they encounter the real thing.

Wouldn’t you prefer your child learn about pornography from you rather than from a peer (or a peer’s older sibling) with a mobile device?

Real Parents Choose to Play Offense

Many parents have become convinced that it’s better to be your child’s first introduction to what pornography is, rather than have to play catch up later when a child’s curiosity and attitudes have already led them into viewing porn.

  • A father, Nick, told me that his 9 year old daughter had done searches on their old iPhone that they let the kids to play with. He regretted that he and his wife had not been the first one to teach her about the purpose of sex–pornography had gotten to their daughter first.
  • A mom, Karen, said that she has become more proactive with her younger kids and wishes she had begun talking to her oldest son sooner about why and how to reject pornography.
  • Another father, Evan, is trying to help get the “porn-proofing” message out to other parents so that someday when his little girls grow up, they’ll find boys to marry who haven’t fallen prey to the porn industry.

Out of the Dark, Into the Light

Happy boy with lifted handsLet’s bring pornography out of the dark, where it has power, and into the light where our kids have power. Do we have another choice if we are going to protect our kids online?

Subscribe to PornProof Kids and get this FREE Downloadable Poster

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Click on image to subscribe to blog.

The Amazon best-selling book Good Pictures Bad Pictures includes an easy to remember CAN DO Plan™ for kids to use when they see pornography. Subscribe to our PornProof Kids blog and get this free printable poster to reinforce the skills your kids needClick here to subscribe.

 Good Pictures Bad Pictures now available on Kindle.

If you’ve purchased a print copy from Amazon, you can get a Kindle version for only $0.99!

GPBP_Cover_3

Click on cover to purchase